The Kennedys Miniseries-What did We Learn?

Posted on April 12th, 2011 by Fingers Malloy

This post originally appeared at NewsReal Blog.

Sunday night, ReelzChannel broadcast the two part finale of a controversial eight part miniseries entitled; The Kennedys. Many networks passed on the miniseries; including but not limited to the History Channel, Showtime, FX, Starz, Direct TV’s 101 Network, Bass Fishing Network, Dental Floss TV, Air America and NBC (you get the idea).

Critics of the show blame the script, making the case that the miniseries isn’t historically accurate. One of The Kennedys producers claims that networks passed on the project do to pressure put upon them by the Kennedy family. After watching the entire miniseries, my guess is that it was a combination of both.

However, I find the notion that The Kennedys is controversial somewhat laughable. Let’s make a list of some of the “characters” in the miniseries and see if we learn anything.

Tom Wilkinson as Joseph P. Kennedy, Sr.- Wilkinson played the role of the family patriarch nobly. I read someone tweet that his voice sounded a little bit like a Boston Hannibal Lecter, which is an accurate description. In the miniseries, Kennedy Senior is portrayed as an ultra rich, power thirsty S.O.B. that would do anything, and spend anything to get his boys to the top. Oh…and he liked to fool around on his wife. Is this news? Controversy? Not so much.

Greg Kinnear as President John F. Kennedy- Kinnear did a magnificent job bringing to life the 35th President of the United States. Kinnear’s President Kennedy, while seeming to care very much for his wife Jackie, also had his dad’s penchant for screwing around behind his wife’s back. What a shocking revelation! Jack Kennedy loved the ladies? The hell you say? Again, what controversy?

Katie Homes as Jackie Kennedy– So, The Kennedys would have you believe that Jackie was a classy lady that had to put up with a lot of heartache due to her husband’s wandering eye. Wow, this keeps getting more and more controversial. Have we not heard this story about the Kennedy family 100 times before? Controversy? Still waiting. And finally…

Barry Pepper as Robert F. Kennedy– Pepper portrays a man that is fiercely loyal to his brother Jack. He is also a highly intelligent, arrogant bastard that made many enemies inside and outside of Washington. Hmm… RFK was cutthroat and didn’t get Christmas cards from J. Edgar Hoover. Man all this new information is earth-shattering is it not?

So what did we learn? Jack and his dad loved the ladies, Bobby could be a jerk and Jackie was a class act. Oh, and apparently Jack and Bobby did not have a brother named Teddy. He was never mentioned in the entire series.

All in all we learned nothing. If the Kennedy family really tried to bury this series–thinking that they were going to keep some of these revelations a secret (like these are secrets), then they are completely delusional.

Was The Kennedys historically accurate? Probably not. But since when does that matter? Was Oliver Stone’s JFK or W. historically accurate? Why are these networks worried about the historical accuracy of a Kennedy movie?

The Kennedys is one part History Channel and one part Days of our Lives. If given the chance, the American people would have been able to figure that out.

With the television landscape cluttered with such shows as Keeping Up with the Kardashians, Real Housewives of 10 Different Cities, Cake Boss, Cupcake Boss, Lemon Meringue Pie Boss, America’s Worst/Best Restaurant, Jersey Shore, Paulie Shore, Dinah Shore, Amazing Race, Amazing Grace, Will and Grace, Live to Dance, Dance to Live, Secret Millionare and reruns of Alf– I have to ask one question:

Who in the hell is a television executive to tell anyone what reality is? That’s controversial…

Fingers hosts The Snark Factor Radio Program on FTR Radio. His website can be found at Follow Fingers on Twitter here.

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Dennis Kucinich Announces Bid to Run for President…of Egypt

Posted on February 16th, 2011 by Fingers Malloy

Kucinich to strangle the Sphinx

In an announcement that shocked political pundits from Cleveland to Cairo, Rep. Dennis Kucinich threw his hat into the ring in a bid to become the new President of Egypt.

At a press conference underneath a rainbow near a pot of gold–Kucinich made the case for his campaign:

Look, I want to be the president of something. I ran for President of the United States, of the Dustin Diamond fan club and of our fantasy football league. I lost every race.

But this time I have an ace in the hole. Howard Dean agreed to be my running mate. Once we win this election and I am the Egyptian President, people will look to Egypt as the Cleveland of the Middle East.

During an emotional pitch at a press conference inside a Stuckey’s restaurant in Dayton Ohio, Howard Dean pulled no punches:

Dennis and I are not only going to Suez, Tom Harkin. We’re going to Taba and Luxor and Aswan and Girga. Then we are going to Helwan and Port Said and up the Nile to Cairo, to take back the Abdeen Palace…Yeah!!!

Kucinich went on to say that he is going to run on his pet issue–bringing the Fairness Doctrine to Egypt (note to Rachel Maddow, this is satire).

Right-wing talk radio dominates the airwaves in Cairo. It is filled with bile and it is the reason that there are riots in the streets. It must be balanced.

In an attempt to show my fellow Egyptians what successful leftest radio sounds like, I have already inked Alan Colmes to a 3 year contract with Cairo’s number one talk radio station, ABBA.

The number one radio talk show host in Cairo–El Rushie Limbaughli Bech, is skeptical of what a President Dennis Kucinich could bring to Egypt (attention Rachel Maddow, this is satire).

Kucinich is a pinko leftist. We do not want socialism here in Egypt. We want a government that hearkens back to the principles of our Phounding Pharaohs.

We will report more on this important story as developments…develop (attention Rachel Maddow, this is satire).

This was cross posted on NewsReal Blog.

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