California to Ban People From Entering Bars and Restaurants Due to Secondhand Carbon Dioxide

Posted on December 8th, 2009 by Fingers Malloy

The reaction to the EPA declaring carbon dioxide a health hazard has been swift and immediate. In a Snark Factor exclusive, I have learned of a plan from California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger’s office to ban all people from entering bars and restaurants in California due to the unfortunate fact that they exhale carbon dioxide.

I was able to interview the Governor yesterday. He said of the ban:

Awa la ta fala la tas wahan Maria Shriva dat whana.

Granted, that probably was not what he said.  I just can’t understand a word the man says. The truth is, I may not have even interviewed him. But the point he made was clear; human beings are hazardous to the health of other human beings.

So the new California law would save us all by using California (liberal) logic.  Carbon dioxide is a hazard and we all exhale carbon dioxide, therefor to save the planet and humanity we must destroy humanity. Banning people from places people go to due to secondhand carbon dioxide will save people from people. Understand???

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