Snarky 6- Six Other Ways Rep. Eric Massa Groped Men in a “Non Gay Way”

This is from The Detroit Free Press. Of the Massa/Beck interview;

Massa, who resigned hours earlier as a Democratic Congressman from New York amid allegations of sexual harassment, admitted on the conservative talking head’s program that he had groped a male staffer.

“Now they’re saying I groped a male staffer,” Massa said. “Yeah, I did. Not only did I grope him, I tickled him until he couldn’t breathe and four guys jumped on top of me. It was my 50th birthday, and it was kill the old guy.”

Everyone here at The Snark Factor feels a little gay after hearing his explanation. Truth be told, I don’t care if he’s gay, if you’re gay or if Ringo Starr is gay. But it is obvious that Massa cares what you think.

So the Snark Factor has come up with six other cover stories that Massa can use to cover up his male groping. Not that he needs any, I’m sure that everyone believed the explanation he came up with for Beck.

1. Yeah I groped them, but we were playing Light as a Feather, Stiff as a Board.

2. Sure I touched em, but it was my birthday and we were playing Truth or Dare. I said “dare.” 😉

3. Yes I goosed him, but we were taking a tour of the Neverland Ranch and I got carried away.

4. Yes we may have had inappropriate contact, but we were recreating our favorite scenes from the Broadway hit “Grease.”

5. Sure I was playing grab ass, but in my defense I am a “Grab Ass Addict” (The Tiger Woods Defense.)

6. I’m Gay (or at least a little gay.)

I say use #6 Congressman, it’s okay to tell the truth…

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One Response to “Snarky 6- Six Other Ways Rep. Eric Massa Groped Men in a “Non Gay Way””

  1. […] Next Job?Posted on | March 10, 2010 | No CommentsHe’s snorkeled his way out of the Navy, groped his way out of Congress and flunked his tryout as a Fox News regular contributor, so obviously Mr. […]

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